Angel Attack: The stageplay
by Randman
Summary: It's Evangelion all over again... Shakespearean style. Dare you read?
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: Evangelion and everything about it is owned pretty much by GAINAX and not me (the author of this fic). This is a parody, and only my artistic influences can be said to be by me. I don't make any money off this. Please don't sue!  
I also don't claim to be good at writing in iambic pentameter _– _nor Shakespearean, for that matter._

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**Angel Attack**

**By William Wong**

**Prologue  
**The year two thousand fifteen doth commence  
And the constant summer suns Tokyo-three.  
The stillness of such an age mars the tense  
Past from memories of war and debris.  
And thus this story is thrust forth from so;  
What starts as silence and cicada-hums  
Cannot long seem: hush'd, pink chick hatch'd of crow  
Is but a new-born genesis, ere comes  
Black feathers to sprout in the new-form'd world.  
Its fate, portend', will bring harrowing joy  
To mankind's own, both twisted and twirled,  
For all resteth on the soul of a boy.

Ready you to witness the frightful act  
Of mankind against the angel attack.

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This is an adaptation of the first episode of Neon Gensis Evangelion, Angel Attack, into an Elizabethian stage play - Shakespearean style. This is only experimental, and may be abandoned/removed at any stage.  
I hope someone might enjoy this, though.

By the way, don't be afraid to skip entire passages (like next scene's) if they seem too long for you. After all, you'd already seen Evangelion, haven't you? Let long monologues deter you not!

**Promotion:**  
Randman's current feature work, _Guardian_, is soon to resume. Go and take aread!  
How does Rei react to being invited to a party with the whole school coming along? What is that voice inside her head, and what does it want? What things can it make Rei do? What lies beneath each of those masks that people hide behind? Comedy, drama, Christmas; it's something totally wild!


	2. Act 1, Scene 1

**Act 1, Scene 1:**

_A street._

_Enter Shinji._

**Shinji**  
Many miles and many fleeting vistas I've seen  
All in the course of a night and a day  
And all in search of a something missing  
From myself that I have never known.  
Years I've spent, with the mind of despair  
That I have never nor will ever find it.  
Yet, as I let go another day,  
The one that hath gone just four from this,  
I receive a strange message, from away –  
A calling from my loathsome father.  
Just the one word that he wrote to me: "Come."  
Had me arrested in a fit that drew  
The little life that I had within me  
To live the day; and destroy'd the very  
Script that it came in did I: ripped and  
Scribbled with red – ay, that single word,  
And that single name which caused it razed,  
One I find hideous torment to share:  
Gendou Ikari! Gendou Ikari!  
Yet, stranger still, was the message next day:  
Another letter by another scribe,  
Whom verily is just as much the strange.  
Yet, its effect had me see my mind chang'd,  
Tape up the former, and drove me here.  
Here, the message says we shall find ourselves,  
Yet I see not a soul in sight at hand.  
Only this pay-phone can my hand see to  
And my mind seek out the missing someone.  
_Dials phone_  
Verily, something is not just missing,  
Rather something has gone amiss 'round here.  
Say you – here – you come for me, so I wait;  
Yet wait have I, and come I have not got.  
_Thunder within_  
Hark! What thunder ventures where clouds do not?  
_Enter Angel and VTOLs, at a distance_  
Mine eyes and ears have not turned from me  
In the fashion that they do thus, before!  
_VTOLs attack the Angel, Angel flees, advancing_  
My body lies, too, says it shakes from th' ground  
But best to bet that this may not be so! _Fleeing_  
_Enter Misato, in a car_  
What, ho! Come you for me or for my life?

**Misato**  
I come, now we go!  
Get in, be not slow!

_Exeunt_

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By the way, please do leave by a review if you happen to be reading this.

**Promotion:**  
Randman's current feature work, _Guardian_, is soon to resume. Go and take a read!  
If you like BDSM shops, then you'll love this fic! If you hate BDSM shops, you'll _still_ love this fic!


	3. Act 1, Scene 2

**Act 1, Scene 2:**

_NERV. A command centre within the complex. _

_Enter Gendou, Fuyutsuki, UN Officers and Technicians._

**Fuyutsuki**  
Now fifteen years have passed when last they came.

**Gendou**  
Indeed. Mankind is tested once again.

**First UN Officer**  
Thou speak little if t'were not cryptic speak.

**Second UN Officer**  
An' none of it seemeth such that'd aid us  
With our state.

**Third UN Officer**  
Lo! gentlemen! See the screen!

**First UN Officer**  
Not even the missile?

**Second UN Officer**  
Not even two?

**First UN Officer**  
The arm'ments of the nations united  
Hath been made child-toys! We can not allow  
Such humiliation to continue!  
_A phone rings_

**Second UN Officer**  
Quick, answer the phone.

**First UN Officer**  
_Aside_ How now, sir? Indeed, then so we shall do.  
Our masters have it decided: withdraw.

**Third UN Officer**  
And leave it to these vultures!

**First UN Officer**  
Nay, they call  
To send our last set of arms - the N2.

**Second UN Officer**  
Desperate measures in desperate times.  
Now our desperation shall be unleashed  
Unto the enemy in an utmost  
Triumph!

**Fuyutsuki**  
Or bitter failure, perchance.

**Gendou**  
_Aside_ Their final fight shall bring them to their knees  
To which we stand and reveal our design.  
But little by little, when comes the time, for  
The world and all shall, to me, turn in woe  
Would they were to learn what I doth know.

_Exuent_

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A little messy, this chapter, but please do give feedback. Next chapter, I anticipate, may be fun. 

**Promotion:**  
Randman's current feature work, _Guardian_, is soon to resume... really! Go and take a read!  
If you like seeing Rei in bad-ass clothing that _really_ chafes, you'll like this! If you'd rather see Rei in 'sweet' clothes, you'll like this, too!


	4. Act 1, Scene 3

**Act 1, Scene 3:**

_A desert place, in Misato's car._

_Enter Shinji, Misato; VTOLs and Angel, at a distance._

**Misato**  
See; they go for it again, them fools. What!  
_Exuent VTOLs_  
A change of plans, I see. I say, get down!  
_Explosion of N2 mine_

**Shinji  
**This lady's body embracing mine;  
We tumble together in our carriage.  
But it is not the fear of our fate that  
Detracts the pleasure that'd have ensued  
At less dire atime for another boy,  
But rather this boy, here, who cannot feel  
It any more. I fear to say I have  
No sympathy for life, itself, moreso.  
No pleasure and no fear: only pain.  
And even pain can hold only so much.  
_Cease explosion_

**Misato**  
Harken, Shinji, for it is the golden  
Sound of sweet silence. The aftermath, though,  
We have yet to investigate. Let's go.

**Shinji  
**The only way is up, then, for the blast  
Has turn'd the earth on its side like the last  
Biggest blast the other end.

_Exuent Shinji and Misato, of the car_

**Misato  
**_Aside_ Oh, oh, oh!

**Shinji  
**Miss Katsuragi-

**Misato**  
'Misato' is fine.

**Shinji**  
I do not understand what has happen'd  
But what I find more compelling to ask  
Is this: What now?

**Misato  
**We go.

**Shinji  
**How so?

**Misato  
**We'll roll  
The car straight back over the ground again  
Like the great Itou who rolled my sushi  
Just this noon.  
_They work_

**Shinji  
**_With sweatdrop_ Your wordplays have no potence.  
_They enter the car_

**Misato  
**Oh, boy? You don't possess the character  
Of jest I would expect. That's no such thing  
Fitting of a boy like you.

**Shinji  
**Is that so?

**Misato  
**Oh, now I feel from my womanly wit  
That I've rouse'd you of your indifference!  
Trouble'd?

**Shinji  
**You don't possess the character  
Of maturity I'd expect, either.

**Misato**

Wilt thou provoke me? then have at thee, boy!  
_They drive_

**Shinji  
**O, me!  
_Exuent all but Angel_

**Angel  
**Scorn, injury; I'll take no more.  
They've come close enough to the core;  
Once I've come from this sluggish rest  
I'll kill and conquer to their nest.  
Let us brew the gore!  
Come to us, key to heaven's door!

_Exit Angel_

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Next chapter is rhyme time! Leave by a review, please, especially if you have enjoyed it.

**Promotion:**  
Randman's current feature work, _Guardian_, is soon to resume... I'm serious! It's definitely coming! _Kitto kuru!_ This is probably your last chance to have a head-start before it goes on.  
If you like Rei in a bunny costume, you'll love this fic! If you like gay porn, you'd _still_ love this fic!


End file.
